Yes, it’s true! To commemorate this special day I have devised a fiendishly difficult braintwister. Below is a list of subject headers from emails currently caught in my spam filter. Can YOU spot the odd one out?
Answers in the comments. There is no closing date!
1. “Grow your pole by 2 inches today”
2. “Feel your pole elongate immediately”
3. “Burst through your pants in 2 months”
4. “Size explosion experienced by all users”
5. “Make it grow faster”
6. “Be confident that you will have a larger head soon”
7. “We got a winner in your new size”
8. “Reap the benefits of painless body enhancement”
9. “Size shapes the man”
10. “You cannot discount the importance of size
11. “Your way to get more blood pumped to the right places
12. “Discover your true size”
13. “Size increase available here”
14. “Real present for your important organ!”
15. “Keep erection”
16. “You will see your penis on MTV”
17. “Enlarge your brest and let other women die from envy”
18. “Don’t blame your wife, enhance yourself!”
19. “Minimise your expences on enhancing and get the best result ever.”
20. “Enjoy the nightlife that you wish.”
21. “Immeasurable wand of pleasure”
22. “News about your enhancing will be know to all the girls around.”
23. “Don’t leave her dissatisfied.”
24. “Roman imperator took that pill to serve all his mistresses! If you are unable to support an erection, your solution is here!”
25. “Turn your boner to something you can be proud of.”
26. “Have an unforgetful night of pleasure with your girlfriend!”
27. “Dodn’t you just want to run away when cannot satisfy_your_gf?”
28. “Even the most severe and desperate cases were treated by us.”
29. “Secret tiny helper for men.”
30. “Perfect weight and feel”
31. “You will need this for a good pounding.”
32. “Find your love stick gain here”
33. “The hottest femmes will long for you!”
34. “More length and width”
35. “Make chix tremble with excitement”
36. “Hey, are you the guy who cannot make love?”
Yes, I do have quite a lot of time on my hands.
Yes, I am slightly concerned about the sort of spam this is likely to attract.
Probably “Find your love stick gain here“. But “Immeasurable Wand of Pleasure” is quite good too.
October 13, 2008 at 11:26 pm
Number 5 has nothing to do with sex, and is actually an email from Gordon Brown talking about the national debt?
Or while all the rest are about ‘enhancing’ organs, number 16 is a threat from Lorena Bobbitt?
October 14, 2008 at 12:17 am
#17 – the only one targeted at women? Am I right?
October 14, 2008 at 10:51 am
Clearly #17. Which is really rather original. I never seem to get breast enlargement spam.
October 14, 2008 at 1:39 pm
I think it’s 17 too, it specifically says breasts. Speaking as a man I’m 101% in favour of bigger boobies of course if a little ambiguous on the subject of bigger male members, but I do wonder what sort of person male or female would actually buy let alone take tablets off someone cold-selling off the internet.
October 14, 2008 at 7:20 pm
Sorry, I was so drawn towards the “Immeasurable wand of pleasure” that I forgot the question.
Oh right. Yes I agree, 17. Now, if it said “keep your lovely breasts while your hips diminish to slinky size, without pills or surgery or even an uplift bra”, I’d certainly be interested.
October 14, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Wow, I never expected anyone to take the ’spot the odd one out’ bit seriously! But in that case, yeah, obviously 17…. Though I’d disagree with Keef in that I do think you can have too big (Chesty Morgan being an obvious and extreme example). Personally, I’d say anything over a handful is over-egging the woman pudding.
October 14, 2008 at 11:02 pm
Since everybody else has already gone for the obvious one, I’ll say 3. They’re selling chocolate, right?
October 16, 2008 at 7:44 am
Keef’s always on and on about that motorboating thing isn’t he?
October 16, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Wrong! Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. And wrong. It is NOT number 17. Or number 3. Ha! Ha ha ha ha HA!
October 16, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Jesus. My own comment is awaiting moderation.
October 18, 2008 at 7:56 am
“Immeasurable wand of pleasure”! Oh joy. But tell me – would you want to see your penis on TV? I would (if I were a man)
October 18, 2008 at 9:50 am
“But tell me – would you want to see your penis on TV?”
Well, it would undoubtedly be more camera-friendly than the flabby shortarse it’s attached to, but what did you have in mind? Performing in a costume drama? Or maybe with its own gameshow?
October 19, 2008 at 5:50 am
Number 30? “Perfect weight and feel” could be an imitation anything, really. A wood-like plastic gnome for the garden. Artificial rocks. A prosthetic hand. Wax fruit. Which of these would be sold by spam, well, that requires more thought.
October 19, 2008 at 10:11 am
Not No. 30 either, I am afraid. I may have to reveal the answer.
October 19, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Just a guess but given your other site, the odd one out is probably a Weightwatchers-type thing, which again could be a few, but at a punt… number 12?
October 21, 2008 at 2:45 am
I’m at a loss.